For All You Who Don't Believe In The Power Of Fate and Love

KAILUA-KONA, Hawaii (AP) - A 10-year-old Oregon boy scribbled a note on binder paper, stuck it into a bottle and tossed it into the ocean. A year later and 2,000 miles away, a 9-year-old girl exploring a Hawaii shoreline found the bottle floating in a tide pool. Since then, the two children have been exchanging emails and plan to become pen pals, West Hawaii Today  reported Monday. Thomas Craig, now 11, of Silverton Ore., told the newspaper he hadn't thought much about his message in the bottle he threw into Winchester Bay during a family fishing trip until he recently received an email from Trinity Ballesteros, of Kailua-Kona. "I couldn't believe someone had found it. I was shocked," he said. "When I threw it overboard, it hit the top of my grandpa's boat so I thought it broke and sank. The chances of someone finding it seemed like a once-in-a-million type thing." Trinity was beachcombing along the shore in front of the Queen Liliuokalani Children's Center in Kailua-Kona when she spotted the old fashioned-looking bottle. "My first thought was what if someone is really in trouble and they're sending out an SOS," she said. "Would I even be able to help? Were they lost at sea or stuck on a deserted island? Were they even in Hawaii?" Surrounded by friends and family, Trinity opened the bottle and found the letter, which read, "Dear finder of my message, My name is Thomas and I live in Oregon. I'm ten years old and this week I'm salmon fishing deep in the ocean. I would like to hear from you."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was digging this story, I really was.  Boy drops a bottle into the ocean while on a fishing trip in Oregon then 1 year later, a hopeless young girl finds it on the shores of Hawaii and suddenly the world she once knew, expands and and long lost dreams suddenly become real. Total storybook shit. Then I read what the needle dick dork wrote on the letter and saw the girls reaction. Yeah they might be meant for each other but only because they're fucking morons. Let's begin with our cassanova named Thomas. He writes, ""Dear finder of my message, My name is Thomas and I live in Oregon. I'm ten years old and this week I'm salmon fishing deep in the ocean. I would like to hear from you." WHAT?!?! That's what you fucking write? You have one shot at love and you say you're a 10 year old boy from Oregon who enjoys fishing and would like to hear back? What is James Fucksyoungboys finds that bottle off the coast of Portland? I think you're gonna get a response and get a response quick, bro. And don't worry about finding him cause I'm sure he'll find you first. Look for the big white van with no windows. I don't wanna let this little bitch get off the hook here either. How 'bout her reaction to the bottle? "My first thought was what if someone is really in trouble and they're sending out an SOS," she said. "Would I even be able to help? Were they lost at sea or stuck on a deserted island? Were they even in Hawaii?" Uhhhh yeah. You're gonna save somebody if they're in trouble? You're 9 with a vagina. You aint saving the peanut butter off your sandwich, bitch. And even if they were in deep shit, you'd think they'd write a letter and send it in a fucking Corona bottle? Are you high? Wake the fuck up.